i'm back again

though i don't really feel like writing but i have no choice... 

all i wanna write is all about joanna and friends... 

1. if i've never met joanna, my life wouldn't change so much... she's the first one who pulled me up when i was a total loser by giving me motivations in collecting marks in our school's cross-country in form 3... yep, thats when i discovered my abilities... thanks a lot! i wouldn't be standing here this very day without you... although we don't talk everyday and our conversations exist when we work together and stuff... and i always had fun talking to her... there's no doubt about it... she's fun, cute and wacky... i admire her attitude and personality... you RAWK!
2. i'll never laugh without hannah last year... she's funny and she knows a lot about stuff... but i just dunno why she likes to compare... well, if its a slight one thats fine but don't go overboard... sometimes people in different stance have different mindset and we just have to watch our words... knowing everything would actually make someone a know-it-all... and bragging isn't the way... no offence but do you still remember about the programme book thingy... i was preparing the whole thing and i already adjusted the pages.... and you think that its so easy to put the lyrics into place which made me really mad... so when you overed me help i rejected you... why? i have nothing to say... i might as well do everything myself... so i guess it drifted away just like that... anyway, i'll try to forget that... and i know i have major flaws too... thanks for being there too... though i'm kinda scared of you... 
3. although she left me blur last year but we were good friends again this year... i had fun sharing stuff with her... and she helped a lot and i really appreciate it... i wouldn't hope history to repeat because thats just a pain in the butt... you did a lot and i'll try to repay you... 
4. hui tin helped a lot too and i feel comfortable letting all my thoughts out to her... she's not the one who would sabotage you or something... friendly and kind... although she'll have mood swings once in a while... XP
5. there's like lotsa friends out there... and we're just vaguely connected... thats just it... we just help each other out and thats just it... and wanna thank whoever had helped me when i was in deep trouble and when i was down... 

i really appreciate everything you've done... sorry for being a jerk and all... 

What a day...

=.=

emo all day long.. first, i was not really in a good mood when i reached school.. then, they had this prefect gathering after our duties... so okay, the form 4s are there so i went around asking whether they already prepared the lyrics which are supposed to paste in the programme book thingy... what were my answers? a big fat HUH? only chee yian and hsien yin prepared and the others were like smiling away.. why i oughta give them a piece of my mind! 

ouh... so you think its so easy to do all this crap huh? you wanna try or not? summore the camp its around the corner and you're laughing away?! what kinda sick people are you? sheesh.. 

FINE, i went to cut those cards myself then... i don't need anyone.. i can handle it on my own...

joanna came to offer help but i rejected her offer because she too got stuffs to do.. and my other normal friends came to offer help too yet i did the same thing...

i was nearly finishing those cards until hannah and zhi yin came to help out... dunno why i didn't reject them.. maybe i'm too scared and i feel sorry or something... not really sure though.. anyway, they really did help me a lot and i really appreciate it! thanks you guys.. >.<

and we did our bio experiment in the lab... and i continued to cut those lyrics while hannah and zhi yin went to find more lyrics... so cool.. they did a great job...

dunno why i was so mad about something.. hmm... maybe its just nothing.. i guess i was just being too much.. i hate my mood... ouh.. i remember.. i hate myself because i didn't borrow hannah the peka first before i lent sze li.. i mean sze li went around and she asked me whether am i lending my peka to anyone.. i said NO... so she said lend her... so i was like okay... but then i thought of hannah... so i felt really really BAD... i'm being such a loser... hannah took the trouble yesterday bringing me my physics exercise and i did nothing in return... AHHHHHH... sandra ong is a total idiot... =.=

so okay... i did tell hannah that i'm gonna lend her tomorrow... sorry for letting you down hannah... please kill me.. can hate me also.. i don't mind now... sigh...

hannah and yun zi helped to cut those shapes and they were really NICE... >.<

THANKS A LOT... and SORRY!!!

Proud of being a part of NDC :P

when i was like standard 6? i was kinda eager to study in ijc...? hahahahaha.. because all my cousins are there.. but then my dad said he wanted me to continue learning chinese so he sent me to NDC.. plus, its near to our house so its rather convenient lo.. =.=
so i applied for ndc and i got accepted.. i was kinda happy? lol.. i dunno... because i was the one and only person in keh seng to be sent there.. and no friends following.. that one i don't really cared much...
so when i was staying in my tuition centre on 31st december 2004 because we were like having this new years eve count down party.. and i had orientation the following day.. so i attended it and the school was like so huge and nice? those prefects standing there was like so COOOOL... >.< and at that split second, i was beginning to like ndc more and more... lol
so on the first day of being in my new school.. the prefect board actually have this orientation week for the freshmen.. we played games, danced and sang songs... it was fun and ndc ROCKS!!! hahahahahaha...
and i made new fwends.. hehehe.. at first i got like cultural shock or something because those people originated from ndc primary were really... err.. open and they talk in a rude kinda manner or something... so i sat at the back with my new friend.. she was nice and all... she influenced me with all those mangas.. hahahaha... so in that year and in that class.. oh yea, second class.. i was all confident and i was super determined what i'll be achieving this time.. because science and maths changed to english and i was kinda happy that i won't be a loser anymore.. lol... and i was well prepared for anything that time.. the teachers also started to realise my existence? hahahaha.. but that was not really what i want.. then again i had this wish that i hope maybe the teachers there would still remember my name and what i'm capable of..
and in mid year, i got 1st in class and that was the first time ever for me to get 1st in whatever i achieve in my life... >.< heee... but there's some people in class maybe envied what i got because they were competing as well.. okay, maybe its my bad for getting 1st? but i really want it though.. so i worked hard to earn it...
there're seniors in ndc who inspired me and all.. i wanna be like them too.. i really really DO... and there's this girl.. her name is ong kay rin.. hey.. ONG also le.. lol... she sat for pts in standard 3 and she skipped her grade and actually she is one year older than us but then she joined those seniors who are 2 years older than us... besides this, here's an even awesome one.. she defeated all the seniors in her class and got 1st!!! OMG... she's really awesome! she's a total prodigy! in every aspect she's perfect.. lets see.. not only super duper smart... she's tall.. fair.. pretty.. has good body figure.. lol.. good in sports and she's good in her three languages!!! total brainiac right?
our school have this cross-country thingy every year and i was surprised that she got one of the top 10s in the senior group.. i was like wow.. in my heart i told myself I WANNA BE LIKE HER TOO!!!
so yep.. this year, i tried real hard.. actually i've been building my stamina last year end.. so yep, i got 8th place in the senior group.. weeeee... hahahahaha... i'm so really happy...
but now i got lazy and am scared of jogging alone.. so i didn't go jog anymore.. lol...
something special about ndc is that i found many weird but fun friends.. they are super funny though they talk like super naive stuffs.. LOL.. i always laugh when they talk about those sick jokes.. and they don't really like hate you because they're jealous or anything... that's why i'm proud of being part of them... hehe..
another reason why i'm being antisocial because i have LOW self esteem.. i'm scared to talk because i'm scared that my english sounds weird.. =.=
but i don't mind my chinese sounding weird because they're used to it.. lol... and one of the seniors said she likes to hear me speak in mandarin? LOL... weird but i enjoyed being with them.. hehehe.. i used to make those seniors laugh like hell and they really seemed to like it.. XP
so i guess that's all about ndc? lol.. i'm glad that my dad made the right decision sending me to ndc and not to you know.. hahahaha.. because i think i may change being like those biatches there.. >.< class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">i'm easily influenced lo.. XP

The beauty of patience? lol

well, to be honest again.. when i was working that time, there's this guy disturbing me right? and i took revenge disturbing back? okay... we talked for like a month because i was working there for a month too... so he mentioned about his gf or something.. and i was like... so good got gf.. i'm such a loner lo.. he told me to be patient? lol.. i was like half taking that into account and half not... so i didn't bother much of these...
and he kept teasing me also.. stupid fella... argh!!! yea.. i know he's such a jerk lo... =.= never mind.. i, sandra ong... will continue to wait... dunno don't care... maybe its not gonna happen for this typical person here but i'll still continue to live my life although it sucks big time... that was what i thought all the while...
nope, i haven't given up yet.. i waited and waited and waited... people come and go.. so i met new friends and they walk in and out of my life... like i even care... so i started to focus on my friends... i mean school girl-y friends... hahahaha... maybe i'll be happier being with them without thinking of anything else like those stupid stories and fantasies...
yea, about the girl guides camp... i met this junior... she's really helpful and its nice helping each other... okay.. you can say junior magnetism activated at that time... because friends the same age exerts pressure and i don't feel like hanging out with them... they couldn't really make me laugh like the way those juniors do...
well, fate seemed to be sympathetic... maybe it knows that i'm like too miserable to live another year or something... and someone just happened to choose the right time and the right you know and appeared once again... lol... i never thought such err.. chances would actually happen to me... so i was just lucky i guess.. hehehe...
so okay.. i thought friends only ma... can be close friends maybe.. i don't care.. as long as i have a good and nice friend its already enough.. though sometimes i kinda think too much but i would try to avoid that thought.. you know.. THAT THOUGHT... don't wanna be perasan too...
but i did tell you how i feel being.. Jealo... yea.. i also told you 2 times too.. and you were blur and you felt guilty.. dunno why... okay, i guess when i was jea.. i already.. had that thing going on in my mind... so i couldn't avoid it.. its getting stronger... lol.. dunno what to say... was speechless everytime though... but i tried to hide it... as sneaky as possible... hee...
right, i did give some hints but i guess they didn't seem to work or something... so suan liao... lol... and i didn't know you gave me hints too though.. XP silly me.. it felt good? gotta admit it.. it really did give me happiness and all... its like i'll be the only one having that kinda feelings all to myself... no one can ever have it... thats how i felt... hahahaha... i could have sworn that i was like soaring in the skies above...
that day haven't come yet.. nope.. not yet.. hahahaha.... i told you i have a foster brother... no sister and no other girls in the house except my foster mother... so yea.. i was busy packing and all... hahahaha..
right.. nearly forgotten.. i didn't get myself involved with other guys because like what for? lol.. seriously, though just friends but i think you're the very best already... hehehe... and i'm still proud of myself for not indulging myself in unnecessary stuffs.. i was on the safe side then..
so the day had finally come and i was speechless at first.. because i couldn't believe it would actually happen between us.. i was like this =.= because it was still very imaginary.... lol.. its true true though... its like impossible... you-me.. me-you? do i deserve this ah?
so i requested for a confirmation to prove that it wasn't a practical joke or something.. XP and it proved to be true though... and i'm really living in reality here...
well, i'm glad i had the patience to wait until the right person to step onto my doorstep... so i'll say... WELCOME... lol...
so i hope its long enough because i think there's more but someone here just couldn't stop bugging me.. she wants to use the com already... sighs... oh well, i'll try to think of a good one.. i mean i want the very best in the world for the one and only you... so no mistakes or anything can ever occur.. yep.. perfect for you... ^^

DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE

lalalalala... i dunno whatta say.. okay, about checking mails? you do know that those people like to send those if-you-send-this-to-dunno-how-many-friends-your-crush-will-bla-bla-bla something like that? and if you don't you'll have like 7 years of bad luck? lol... okay... i was like always falling for those stuffs... since they're just mails so i'll send how many i want.. lol.. and i'll wish that i'll meet someone NICE and hahahaha.. you know.. XP
since i've already.. you know.. lol.. so i wouldn't even bother to layan all those kinda mails already.. i mean i have what i want and what more could i ask for? i'm simply the luckiest girl to get what i wanted the most in this whole wide world and i'm glad that i'm sandra ong... lol
now i won't ever ever give up on my life anymore because i nearly did once or twice.. when i was all down and all... no one was there.. no one can understand how i felt.. i hate that feeling.. it sucks big time...
so now i've found someone so sweeeet, understanding, nice, humorous and so CUTE (physically and mentally..lol)... and he's all MINE to keep and treasure... mine Mine MIne MINe MINE!!!!!
i suddenly feel like singing.. dunno why.. hahahaha..
okay.. here goes.. didn't expect any good things would happen to me ever in my life.. i was always like i'm gonna be a loner.. maybe i'll adopt someone when i grow up.. lol.. i forgotten for what reason.. hahahaha... sounds stupid...
well, what can i say... you're totally right.. since i've already got the best thing of all... there's a price to pay... hey, i'm like owning something that would keep me alive forever and ever... actually, it feels real good to let out everything to someone you trust with your life... hehehe...
i know this is nothing compared to the life is reflecting on a story blog... this is just a warm up? i haven't gained my stamina yet.. hahahahaha... just you wait and see... i don't mind 1000 times... XP
ouh.. i haven't made my point yet... okay, here it is... my point is... dreams really do come true... i was like wishing or maybe yearning for something that i couldn't dream of having.. fortunately, it came true.. just like a fairy tale... i dunno how and i didn't see it coming... things are so unpredictable.. thank GOD so very much! i'm really grateful and i just couldn't ask for more... nothing can ever beat this... lol...
P/S : remember which disney princess i like the most.. lol.. XP

My presumption is proved to be true

okay.. today i didn't care much... so during bio period i sat on my usual seat in the lab.. and i also reserved a place for her but then she went to sit in front of me... suan liao lo... =.=
she was like angry or something.. so i asked hui tin to sit beside me... after bio period we went back to our class and i felt even awkward...
during recess, i was standing on my duty spot with hannah and she came down glaring at hannah... >.< haizzz.. hannah was predicting that she'll break down anytime soon.. so after recess she came up with watery eyes and yup, hannah was right.. sze li and zen huei asked me to cheer her up and stuffs.. i did try my best to do so but all i get was nothing.. nothing.. no.. no... what was i supposed to do? i got nothing.. so i just let her cool down for a bit.. well, i guess the whole thing started last wednesday where she was counting on me to bring her homework and stuffs to mr oh's because she was absent on that day.. so i forgot to bring my book there for her to copy so i felt really really bad.. i apologised to her by sending a message saying i'm such a loser because i couldn't even complete a simple task.. and i recalled what happened last time.. i'll do whatever it takes to make it up to her.. so yea, that was what i said..
and on the following day.. i felt weirder.. she didn't wanna talk to me? err.. what happened? i thought we were totally cool wtih stuffs.. but then it turned out this way.. so i continued talking to hannah and all.. well, we were really close at the beginning than with hannah.. because i wasn't ready to tell hannah anything yet.. not the right time? but eventually, hannah found out herself so i guess there's no need to hide anything anymore.. so i let everthing out without further hesitation.. so from that point, both of them were equal and as time passes by three of us got closer.. when i have stuffs to tell, one would be dutying and the other would be in the big hall.. so which one should i tell first? err.. so in order to be fair, i wouldn't mind if i were to repeat what i said to the other... so they were like a lever balance.. sometimes, i'll accidentally put more load on one side and the other would become lighter.. and i did realise my mistake so i tried talking to them as much as i could? the fact that hannah is sitting beside me and it is likely for me to talk to her more but i would still turn to the back to talk to my friend..
but there's one day, she asked siew tin whether i was talking to hannah more and ignoring her.. siew tin told her that she think too much.. but then that idea really got into her.. she acted cold towards us and that was what happened i guess..
so just now, i burst into laughters when hui tin was singing the pussy cat dolls' "when i grow up".. it wasn't that she sang badly but it was funny.. i know its bad of me to do that.. but it was funny what.. couldn't help it...
we didn't talk until she took her bag and head for the door when school dismissed.. i managed to say goodbye but she was like reluctant to reply? suan liao.. i stayed back in class with sze li and hui qi talking about what drastic actions should be taken tomorrow.. stupid but that was all i got.. so after our discussion, i headed to a meeting.. i was still laughing away but still i felt bad..
hope she's okay... i know she's stressed up and all due to the coming exam... i dunno whatta do to lighten her burden.. there's still something about her that others don't really know.. i understand.. and i'll give her time to recover... i wanna balance everything...

What am i to do

its happening again.. >.<

today i tried to talk to her... she was like don't wanna listen or something.. and i felt really bad before going for my duty.. so after bio.. accompany her to find a teacher and walked back to class...

is it me or is it just everyone acted weird lately? first, marilyn was acting cold towards us on last wednesday.. and then it continued until today.. ugh... she don't feel like talking.. why? she only wants to talk to siew tin.. Why? she's acting strange.. WHY?!!! i'm so lost right now.. am i being too sensitive or what? i mean i really did try my best talking to everyone..

my mom said we got lotsa politics in class.. err... sort of.. XP

when you're too close to someone, they think you're weird.. and when you're not close to them.. they think you're strange.. weird+strange=freak...



my aim:

1. wanna be there for my friends


2. wanna help them out whenever they are in need


3. wanna talk to them and have fun


4. just want things back when they were before


5. wanna finish all the stup.. prefect stuffs right away


6. wanna finish moral folio


7. wanna refresh my mind on stuffs


8. wanna make this world a better place


9. wanna be alert in school


10. most of all.. wanna make the best memories in my entire life being with only you

i felt so lonely for a fleeting moment and i just dunno whatta do.. all these probs.. though its no big deal but its a part of something i own.. another case was this junior.. wei kei.. she suddenly acted cold towards me.. dunno why.. last week she was like hi sandra and stuffs.. but this week.. she didn't even care to look at me.. =.= weird... do you think that i'm the cause of all these events?

friends are really something.. i wish that it won't just fade away..

like i'm not close to someone because i have my reasons.. those self-centred ones are out of my friends list.. well i choose friends who are always there for me and vice versa... share stuffs together.. and those who can keep secrets... won't simply let the cat out of the bag.. those who i won't have the scepticism towards them.. those who are fun to hang out with.. i mean for me.. and those who can make me feel like myself in any situations.. so yea..

sorry for not expressing myself properly.. my feelings are all tangled up and its really complicating being me.. haiz..

the main purpose for creating this whole blog thingy is for you to read.. and i guess hardly anyone knows its existence... hahaha...

i missed you a whole lot.. and argh! i just feel so lonely.. >.<