what would you do when you feel like a nobody? when you feel ppl are being biased... when their attentions are all towards those somebodys... this world is really not fair... and it is ain't big enough for us... now ppl are not afraid of having dreams but are afraid that they might not come true...


the philosphy of life is such a wreck... until ppl are born to hate this pathetic lil world... why must he or she be the one who gets it and not us? but when we're in their shoes we feel blessed and grateful... curses!!! this world is so unfair man... ppl who own something do not appreciate what they have while others are struggling out there just for a simple wish or hope... so unfair...


until the end... its still unfair...

the -er song

nothing lasts forever
it started when two ppl were sitting together
and they don't understand each other
neither of them knew what would happen after
it all ends just like a disaster
eventually there's no happily ever after
and i hope everything will be gone forever

it started with a small matter
but dunno whats the real factor
whatta sucker
i hate the laughters
just forget the moments forever and ever

never thought so

well, i never thought that life would be pretty dull without you guys... and i never thought that you all would even consider reading what i've written in it... sorry for always being left behind... like i don't really join you guys in your conversations... its just that i dunno what to say or maybe i don't feel right with the topics or so... thousand apologies...
i wanna thank lotsa people here for keeping me updated with stuff and sharing moments together...
hmm... lemme see...
i wanna thank :

• joanna for changing me from being a nobody to a somebody and lotsa stuff too
• hannah for making me laugh all the time and making me understand life more
• marilyn for giving me the greatest gift of all but thats kinda like a secret
• yzy for keeping me updated with the couple thingy and teasing me and all with the glaring and stuff... lol... she's cute and makes ppl laugh...
• elaine for showing me the real world of manga and the stuff about drawing... considering me her pillow everytime? lol...
• janice for sending me comments last time about chocolates and pmr... lol... but now no more ady... sob sob
• ying chean for psychiatric stuff which is kinda super... though its kinda like a self search or something...
• grace always there to check me out... lol... i remembered last time she used to kacau me everytime in msn.... hahaha... i know you like green...
  
• sze li for showing me stuff and always layan me
• hui qi also helped a lot too... in stuff
• hui tin too for making me feel like myself
  
• okay, i can't really think of others... sorry... anyways, i wanna thank those who were there for me and sorry for not really remembering...

i guess thats it for now... don't blame me for not updating ah... tried mah best... XP

jerkish me

well, i just wanna thank you all for always being there for me... i was having this thought saying that my secondary life in this school is the worst but you all made me realize that it is not... i'm not a loner anymore because i always have friends who are there for me... thats the coolest thing that can ever happen to me...
okay, surely there are ups and downs and also misunderstandings... but i just wanna say that i would never regret having friends like you... sorry for being self-centred and selfish... maybe i was too emotional towards stuff sometimes... i hope you'll forgive me...
once again, THANK YOU all for being in my life and best friends till we die!!!

i'm back again

though i don't really feel like writing but i have no choice... 

all i wanna write is all about joanna and friends... 

1. if i've never met joanna, my life wouldn't change so much... she's the first one who pulled me up when i was a total loser by giving me motivations in collecting marks in our school's cross-country in form 3... yep, thats when i discovered my abilities... thanks a lot! i wouldn't be standing here this very day without you... although we don't talk everyday and our conversations exist when we work together and stuff... and i always had fun talking to her... there's no doubt about it... she's fun, cute and wacky... i admire her attitude and personality... you RAWK!
2. i'll never laugh without hannah last year... she's funny and she knows a lot about stuff... but i just dunno why she likes to compare... well, if its a slight one thats fine but don't go overboard... sometimes people in different stance have different mindset and we just have to watch our words... knowing everything would actually make someone a know-it-all... and bragging isn't the way... no offence but do you still remember about the programme book thingy... i was preparing the whole thing and i already adjusted the pages.... and you think that its so easy to put the lyrics into place which made me really mad... so when you overed me help i rejected you... why? i have nothing to say... i might as well do everything myself... so i guess it drifted away just like that... anyway, i'll try to forget that... and i know i have major flaws too... thanks for being there too... though i'm kinda scared of you... 
3. although she left me blur last year but we were good friends again this year... i had fun sharing stuff with her... and she helped a lot and i really appreciate it... i wouldn't hope history to repeat because thats just a pain in the butt... you did a lot and i'll try to repay you... 
4. hui tin helped a lot too and i feel comfortable letting all my thoughts out to her... she's not the one who would sabotage you or something... friendly and kind... although she'll have mood swings once in a while... XP
5. there's like lotsa friends out there... and we're just vaguely connected... thats just it... we just help each other out and thats just it... and wanna thank whoever had helped me when i was in deep trouble and when i was down... 

i really appreciate everything you've done... sorry for being a jerk and all... 

What a day...

=.=

emo all day long.. first, i was not really in a good mood when i reached school.. then, they had this prefect gathering after our duties... so okay, the form 4s are there so i went around asking whether they already prepared the lyrics which are supposed to paste in the programme book thingy... what were my answers? a big fat HUH? only chee yian and hsien yin prepared and the others were like smiling away.. why i oughta give them a piece of my mind! 

ouh... so you think its so easy to do all this crap huh? you wanna try or not? summore the camp its around the corner and you're laughing away?! what kinda sick people are you? sheesh.. 

FINE, i went to cut those cards myself then... i don't need anyone.. i can handle it on my own...

joanna came to offer help but i rejected her offer because she too got stuffs to do.. and my other normal friends came to offer help too yet i did the same thing...

i was nearly finishing those cards until hannah and zhi yin came to help out... dunno why i didn't reject them.. maybe i'm too scared and i feel sorry or something... not really sure though.. anyway, they really did help me a lot and i really appreciate it! thanks you guys.. >.<

and we did our bio experiment in the lab... and i continued to cut those lyrics while hannah and zhi yin went to find more lyrics... so cool.. they did a great job...

dunno why i was so mad about something.. hmm... maybe its just nothing.. i guess i was just being too much.. i hate my mood... ouh.. i remember.. i hate myself because i didn't borrow hannah the peka first before i lent sze li.. i mean sze li went around and she asked me whether am i lending my peka to anyone.. i said NO... so she said lend her... so i was like okay... but then i thought of hannah... so i felt really really BAD... i'm being such a loser... hannah took the trouble yesterday bringing me my physics exercise and i did nothing in return... AHHHHHH... sandra ong is a total idiot... =.=

so okay... i did tell hannah that i'm gonna lend her tomorrow... sorry for letting you down hannah... please kill me.. can hate me also.. i don't mind now... sigh...

hannah and yun zi helped to cut those shapes and they were really NICE... >.<

THANKS A LOT... and SORRY!!!

Proud of being a part of NDC :P

when i was like standard 6? i was kinda eager to study in ijc...? hahahahaha.. because all my cousins are there.. but then my dad said he wanted me to continue learning chinese so he sent me to NDC.. plus, its near to our house so its rather convenient lo.. =.=
so i applied for ndc and i got accepted.. i was kinda happy? lol.. i dunno... because i was the one and only person in keh seng to be sent there.. and no friends following.. that one i don't really cared much...
so when i was staying in my tuition centre on 31st december 2004 because we were like having this new years eve count down party.. and i had orientation the following day.. so i attended it and the school was like so huge and nice? those prefects standing there was like so COOOOL... >.< and at that split second, i was beginning to like ndc more and more... lol
so on the first day of being in my new school.. the prefect board actually have this orientation week for the freshmen.. we played games, danced and sang songs... it was fun and ndc ROCKS!!! hahahahahaha...
and i made new fwends.. hehehe.. at first i got like cultural shock or something because those people originated from ndc primary were really... err.. open and they talk in a rude kinda manner or something... so i sat at the back with my new friend.. she was nice and all... she influenced me with all those mangas.. hahahaha... so in that year and in that class.. oh yea, second class.. i was all confident and i was super determined what i'll be achieving this time.. because science and maths changed to english and i was kinda happy that i won't be a loser anymore.. lol... and i was well prepared for anything that time.. the teachers also started to realise my existence? hahahaha.. but that was not really what i want.. then again i had this wish that i hope maybe the teachers there would still remember my name and what i'm capable of..
and in mid year, i got 1st in class and that was the first time ever for me to get 1st in whatever i achieve in my life... >.< heee... but there's some people in class maybe envied what i got because they were competing as well.. okay, maybe its my bad for getting 1st? but i really want it though.. so i worked hard to earn it...
there're seniors in ndc who inspired me and all.. i wanna be like them too.. i really really DO... and there's this girl.. her name is ong kay rin.. hey.. ONG also le.. lol... she sat for pts in standard 3 and she skipped her grade and actually she is one year older than us but then she joined those seniors who are 2 years older than us... besides this, here's an even awesome one.. she defeated all the seniors in her class and got 1st!!! OMG... she's really awesome! she's a total prodigy! in every aspect she's perfect.. lets see.. not only super duper smart... she's tall.. fair.. pretty.. has good body figure.. lol.. good in sports and she's good in her three languages!!! total brainiac right?
our school have this cross-country thingy every year and i was surprised that she got one of the top 10s in the senior group.. i was like wow.. in my heart i told myself I WANNA BE LIKE HER TOO!!!
so yep.. this year, i tried real hard.. actually i've been building my stamina last year end.. so yep, i got 8th place in the senior group.. weeeee... hahahahaha... i'm so really happy...
but now i got lazy and am scared of jogging alone.. so i didn't go jog anymore.. lol...
something special about ndc is that i found many weird but fun friends.. they are super funny though they talk like super naive stuffs.. LOL.. i always laugh when they talk about those sick jokes.. and they don't really like hate you because they're jealous or anything... that's why i'm proud of being part of them... hehe..
another reason why i'm being antisocial because i have LOW self esteem.. i'm scared to talk because i'm scared that my english sounds weird.. =.=
but i don't mind my chinese sounding weird because they're used to it.. lol... and one of the seniors said she likes to hear me speak in mandarin? LOL... weird but i enjoyed being with them.. hehehe.. i used to make those seniors laugh like hell and they really seemed to like it.. XP
so i guess that's all about ndc? lol.. i'm glad that my dad made the right decision sending me to ndc and not to you know.. hahahaha.. because i think i may change being like those biatches there.. >.< class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">i'm easily influenced lo.. XP